フランス料理人 シェフ酒井一之の公式サイト
酒井一之 豚料理大全 人気シェフのスパイス術

シェフ酒井一之のおいしい総菜』では、シェフの料理の数々をお求めやすく提供いたしております。


シェフ酒井の食にまつわる話



赤坂見附ビストロパラザのオーナーシェフ酒井一之による食にまつわるお話です。


« 葉桜の弘前 | メイン | ご無沙汰して申し訳ありません »

最後の食べ食べ会のご案内

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

東京食べ食べ会最終回のお知らせ(177回)
桃の節句、ひなの膳には難しい理由があるにはあるが、春は貝が美味しい季節です。
蛤、アサリ、サザエに馬刀貝が旬の味。私は口福に浸ることが出来れば幸せ。
北海道の殻海胆(ウニ)も今が旬。どうしてウニが海中を移動出来るか生きの良さを見ればわかります。
いままでにない味を楽しみましょう。刺で手を刺さぬようご注意。
東の寒の鰆の刺身美味いと言うが、春の訪れとともに西では刺身もかなわぬ西京に姿を替える。
これも今回のお楽しみ。

春爛漫、今、我が家の猫額農園はバジリコ、タイム,山椒、ローズマリー、ローリエの若葉満開。
今回は「春の潮騒の香りと春菜の香り」がテーマです。
春の若葉を食べた蝦夷鹿、仔羊はいつまでも記憶に残る味。
メインはWAGYUローストビーフとヨークシャープッディング。
今回は趣向凝らした料理の数々を用意してお待ちしております。

1980年フランスより帰国、爾来渋谷の「ヴァンセーヌ」・赤阪「ビストロ パラザ」と25年間、大勢の方々にお引き立て頂きましたが、来る5月29日を持って「ビストロ パラザ」を閉店し15年続いた東京食べ食べ会は今回を持ってしばらく休会致します。
料理人人生48年、想いで尽きぬことばかりですが,少し休息、充電、そして好きなフランスへ、もう一度旅行をして落ち着きましたら場所を替え東京食べ食べ会の復活を予定しております。

後は私の親友、畏友である(株)ペッパーフードサービスの一瀬社長の店『ステーキ くに パラザ』が六月にお目見えです。私同様お引き立てのほどをお願い致します。
永らく有り難うございました。
最終回は面白いパフォーマンスをご用意いたします。お待ちしております。

      とき  2006年5月26日(金)

      ところ ビストロ パラザ 03-3506-0877

会費  8000円(女性) 9000円(男性)

5月10日11日12日は従業員慰安旅行の為勝手ながら臨時休業させていただきます
。尚ビストロ パラザの営業は5月29日が最終日となります。

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この一覧は、次のエントリーを参照しています: 最後の食べ食べ会のご案内:

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酒井シェフ~、
夕べの食べ食べ会、大盛況でしたねえ。料理も美味しかったし、津軽三味線もとても良かったしで大満足です♪ありがとうございました。

これで最後なんてとっても淋しいですが、長い間お疲れ様でした。充電されて早く復活してくださいね(^o^)/~~
今後ともよろしくですm(_ _)m

最後の食べ食べ会参加できなくてすみませんでした。

酒井さんの料理を食べるために転生してきたんですから、また料理を作っていただける日が早く来ることを願ってます。
それでは、のんびりお休みください。

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Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.

Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.

When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.

Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.

Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

After every 'victory' you have more enemies.

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

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The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.

If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.

Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'

Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings

If you are going through hell, keep going.

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

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Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.

In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.

If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

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You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.

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Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.

Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels!

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.

I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!

A camel is a horse designed by a committee

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DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

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Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.

Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.

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Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

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Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

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Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !

The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.

I am not young enough to know everything.

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

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I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.

Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.

I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.

Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.

If you are going through hell, keep going.

In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.

What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

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The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.

Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.

Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.

I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.

A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.

It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.

Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.

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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

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